An Open Letter to Will Muschamp

Coach Boom,

I’m writing today to express my sympathies for the loss of your job and to explain why I believe a silver lining exists on the horizon in perhaps an unexpected location: Denton, TX.

It’s been said that when God closes a door, he opens a window. I've often been confused by this saying, as a window is much smaller than a door, providing significantly less room in which to maneuver and decidedly less practical functionality when compared to its larger edificial counterpart. However, in this particular instance, I believe the saying is both adequate and appropriate:

The door (Florida) has closed, but a window (North Texas) has opened.

I'll explain. UNT Defensive Coordinator John Skladany has announced his retirement, effective following the final game of the season. This means a job has become available. Quite a coincidence, isn't it?

I think you should apply for and – once offered – I think you should take the job as UNT’s next defensive coordinator.

Now many will scoff at this suggestion – and perhaps you will, too – but in the (many) words that follow, I will clearly and definitively list the reasons why you should at least consider this unconventional detour on your way back to the top of college football.

Full disclosure: My career as a football player never progressed past fourth grade, when I played safety – which I believe is universally known as the “right field” of youth league football. (Unrelated, I also played right field in baseball.)

Having no personal experience with the profession, I can only assume college coaching jobs are similar to most other jobs, in that the decision of whether or not to pursue a given position comes down to few key factors: money, location, and career opportunity. And so I will address each of them in that order, along with a few other bonus factors and intangibles that I believe can be found at UNT – and only found at UNT.


We both know UNT can’t afford to pay you what a major college football program can offer, should any of those suitors come a-calling. But we also both know that you’re going to get paid for three more years of work at Florida without ever having to step foot in Gainesville again. So why not spend three years at UNT on Florida’s dime – winning – and we’ll see what the college football landscape looks like in 2018?


I understand money is a significant consideration. If you’re still not sold, that’s okay; I think UNT’s location is where my proposition will begin to work its way into your defense-minded lion’s heart.

Denton, TX is widely regarded as one of the best small towns in the USA. It’s also one of the better college towns, too. I can prove this unbiased, non-opinion-based fact by showing you a map, where you’ll note that Denton is located in the State of Texas and therefore, according to the laws that govern quantum mechanics, is not located in any other state. By the Transitive Property of Texas’ Inherent Superiority, this means Denton is always going to be one of the better places to live. (Please note this is science, therefore not subject to further debate.)

Remember all the good times that were had in Texas? You already know the State. You love the State. The State loves you. So many lives were devastated when you took the Florida job. Let’s brush aside all this sadness; those good times can be had again.

Oh, I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the rumors of another Texas institution that may inquire about your services. While A&M is a fine school, please don’t make me remind you of your (well-taken) opinions about College Station. It hasn't changed. If anyone says otherwise, it is a lie and a trap. Please do not fall for this trap.

Career Opportunity

In the coming weeks, a lot of “people” are going to tell you about the “great opportunities” that may present themselves at “places” like A&M, Auburn, and Mississippi State. I’m sure they’re all fine “institutions” of “higher” “learning” with many wonderful “qualities” and perfectly nice “students” and faculty alike. But that’s taking the easy road, isn't it? That’s what everyone expects you to do. Do you really want to be a guy that just ho-hums his way through the Southeastern Conference? Through football? Through LIFE?!

What I am offering you, in this unapologetic, hyperbole-free plea, is an opportunity to do something unconventional in the pursuit of lasting greatness; to see your name immortalized in stone; to build with your own headset-slamming hands a lasting foundation that will be remembered for all of eternity. 

Consider this:

You, along with fellow former University of Florida employee and current Mean Green head coach, Dan McCarney, could literally resurface the landscape of the North Texas football program, redefining its course while leaving an indelible fingerprint on its 100-year history. Where else does that opportunity present itself? Nowhere, Will.

In Closing

I know I told you you’d never have to set foot inside Gainesville, FL ever again. While I am certain that is one of the more compelling points I make as I plead this case -- it isn't entirely true. You see, North Texas plays at Florida in 2016. Let me ask you this: Who doesn't love a good redemption story? I've seen We Are Marshall. I've seen Remember the Titans. You know who loves a good redemption story? Everyone, Will. Everyone loves a good redemption story.

Come to our window. Then help us turn our window into a door. Be our general contractor. Let’s open that door to greatness and walk through it together.

Thank you for your time and consideration.


Brant Croucher, BBA '03

PS: At your convenience, please send me your address and also include your polo shirt size so that I can send you some game day clothing options. I think the traditional Kelly green would work fine but maybe you’re more of a black or white basic shirt kind of guy. I don’t know. I think it all looks great with khaki pants and winning.